When I am trying to look back and make stories of the memories of my life, I am time traveling and I am declaring the end of the story before it has actually ended.
When my partner says we could go to Cedar Point in 2024 when we travel to Ohio to see the solar eclipse, my first thought is, "If we go back, how will that fit into the story of being there once and happy?" The story isn't over.
If we go back, the story continues.
I have continued the story of how 2013 was the year I learned ambivalence because there is no way to end it. I am writing this blog because I thought I had a complicated narrative to unpack. I thought I was diving back into something when I never got out of the pool to begin with.