Search

7. What is your most toxic trait...

What is your most toxic trait that you can admit to?


I'm judgmental. In more intimate circumstances I can temper this pretty well, but sometimes I feel like I don't know how to be funny or how to bond with other people unless I'm tearing something down. There have been friends and times where I have thought, I can't be around these people too much longer because all we do together is tackle the lowest hanging fruit.


There's probably a difference between judging and discerning. That difference is semantic sure, and could dissolve once placed on the tongue, but in theory I can find a way to be a critical without damaging my spirit.


In case you haven't heard this kind of thinking before, you just can not hold judgements against someone else without holding them against yourself as well. It's not possible the way it's not possible to be full and not have a belly.


Do you want to be free of judgment? To never feel rejected again? (The emphasis is on FEELING rejected, the emotion that comes with it.) It's simple then; don't judge anyone, ever.


That is also impossible, like having a belly and never being hungry.


I think being a writer, this raises an interesting dilemma; how do I write critically about art and media without slipping into a practice of judgement?


What is critique for then? I once heard someone off-hand describe critique as "saying what something is" and I have held onto that for a while. Perhaps there is the space between where I am skilled at expressing what something is and where I am now and I fell that gap with judgement to seem like a better, more informed writer.


It takes a lot of research and time to begin to understand what something is and of course, there is always more knowledge to be had. So far, I am not researched enough and I have filled the cracks of what I know about Daft Punk with judgement.


It sounds a little silly when I write it all out, but I do believe that the way you do Daft Punk is the way you do life.